I Will Love You Until My Last Breath…

No one knows when or under what circumstance we will breathe our last breath, for we live on earth (if we are truly Christian) under God’s plan for us.  That’s why it is so important to let those here we love know just how much. Not just through gifts or words (which also can be important), but primarily through our actions and interactions.

How many of us are coping (or trying to) with estranged relationships among some of our nearest and dearest family members (spouses, children, brothers, sisters, in-laws, cousins)?  Is it our pride that keeps getting in the way of us mending things; is it right-fighting? or, have we become so callous that we’ve decided we can go through the rest of our days ignoring and forever living without our beloved ones?

I, for one, over the past two years have lost warm and loving relationships with close family members and I would do anything to change past events or misunderstandings that caused these great losses.  My once fulfilled life has now been turned upside down. In the midst of hurtful times for all involved, my mom passed away, my dad’s health continues to fail, and those who were closest to me and I so depended upon for support in stressful times are no longer accessible to me. I feel rejected and abandoned.

We were brought up where family was the center of our universe, despite occasional differences in lifestyles and choices.  Some of us went to church and honored God regularly, while others did not attend church and life’s choices/preferences sometimes would get in the way of being with family, but never for months or even years would we remain apart.  But these past two years of distance among and between family have made my life so unbelievably cold and hard.

And, despite my best efforts to abide with cooling off periods and/or to try to rationally discuss matters, our family remains fractured, torn, broken and even hardened.  I traditionally have been the one who family members turn to in times of crisis or need for advice, or just to share their daily good news with. Yet, I look around me today and can pray only to God for answers and healing, which may require a lot more time or may never come at all. But, to all my family, know that I will love you until my last breath.

And, to those of you who have experienced or are experiencing this kind of pain (despite how trivial or severe it may be), I pray for your answers and healing to come to you and your family, too.

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