In The Words Of A Young Woman

Generation Z (those born between 1997 and 2012-15) includes ages 6 to 24-years-old and there are about 2 billion worldwide, and 68 million in the United States, alone. “Gen Zers” want to belong, to feel loved, and to fill their lives with significant and meaningful activities and contributions to help make the world a better place to live in–much like other generations who came before them. I am very proud to report to you that Kylie, my only granddaughter out of our nine grandchildren, is the only female Gen Zer in our family. Her two-year-younger-brother, Aaron, is the only other Gen Zer among them.

This post, however, focuses on Kylie–our very own Gen Zer with her immense personal strength, love, extreme tenderness in a time of isolation and loneliness, and her overwhelmingly painful and yet brave climb out of the depths of loss and heartbreak to return not only from 5,000 miles away to us, but her growth and own personal rebirth into the happy and still very loving young woman she has become today. In fact, Kylie put last year’s experience into her own words in the post that follows on the one-year anniversary of her loss on April 8, 2021.

TRIGGER WARNING: Loss of a child

“April 8, 2021–A year ago today, I went into my OB’s office a day early to find out the gender of my baby. What I walked out with was a broken heart, suffocated lungs, and overwhelming feelings of emptiness and shame.

That day, my doctor sat me down for a routine ultrasound and told me that my baby, the one who I had grown to love and cherish so deeply over the course of 2 months, no longer had a heartbeat.

My body did not do what it was built to do, and I was left not only to mourn the loss of my child, but with feeling so ashamed that I couldn’t do what so many others around me could.

After weeks of what could easily be equated to the worst time of my (short) life, I joined an online support group full of beautiful, kind women who were also experiencing or had experienced a (TW) miscarriage themselves. Throughout the whole traumatic experience, I was comforted in knowing that I wasn’t as alone as I had felt.

I later discovered that every 1 in 4 women has at least one MC in their lives. Then I went on to find out about the women that are close to me who also have climbed this heartbreaking mountain. As much as going through that broke me, it also gave me the strength to grow as a woman in heart, in strength, and in mind.

However, so many times through that journey did I think, “Wow, I wish I could talk to someone,” and felt even more defeated because the topic of miscarriage and child-loss is so taboo that I felt as though I couldn’t talk to even my closest friends.

So, to the mothers who know my pain, the fathers who have watched and suffered the loss themselves, and those who were also given heartbreaking news from their doctors, I see you. And to my village, thank you for supporting me during my journey through grievance and loss. Even when you didn’t know it, you helped me at my lowest.

This is the first time I have come out in the open with this information, and the fact that it took me a year to gain the confidence to do so is silly. I would have had a son, and I will always cherish the thoughts of what could have been, but I know that he is through the pearly gates and at peace; and with that, I am comforted. 💙

I hope that my story gives other young women their words and courage to share theirs; to survive their depths of loss and heartbreak; and incites them to move forward toward their goals in life.”

Kylie also added a postscript following her post, above, on Facebook:

“The outpouring of love and support that I have received on this post is astounding. I would like to especially thank those who used this as an opportunity to share their stories. We are the 1 in 4. We are God’s strongest warriors. And most of all, we are loved not only by earthly beings, but by our angels up in heaven. A thought to close: Our babies never suffered, they never knew the sin of the world; but they only ever knew love, and warmth, and safety inside of us.”

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