In The Wee Hours Of The Morning

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Last night was one of those nights when I had a restful sleep which is becoming more and more rare to me.  Most times I suffer from a racing mind that refuses to shut down or restless legs and arms syndrome that compels me to get up and do something–anything–except just lie there and suffer through the discomfort of my limbs continuously and nervously twitching.   In fact, I am not alone with this debilitating inability to sleep.  Restless sleep or insomnia seems to run rampant in our family.  My brother has it, my niece has it, my daughter has it, and also my only granddaughter suffers from it.  And, I’ve noticed that sleeplessness seems to coincide with the full moon.  If the moon is full it’s a safe bet that I’m going to have several wee hours awake.  What’s important though is how we steer our thoughts and activities in those wee hours of the morning when the rest of the world is sleeping.  I usually go to my office across the hall from my bedroom, close the door, and turn on my computer with its audio muted so I don’t disturb others in our house.   Or, I retreat to our downstairs rec room, turn on the electric fireplace for its ambiance and the television above it to watch some series I have fallen behind on while also catching up on the laundry that I put off doing for the past several days.  Again–anything–to redirect my mind and restlessness, until just before the sun rises when my body and mind are then ready to fall asleep.  

This morning when I awoke refreshed, I fed the dogs, made my coffee–the usual things, and then headed to my office to read my mail and to see what’s going on with my family and friends on social media.   One of the first messages I came upon was written in the wee hours of the morning by my granddaughter, Kylie.  Kylie turns 21 in August, and like most young people has had her ups and downs on her way to adulthood.  Last night, with her heart and mind racing, she decided to share her thoughts about those difficult times with her family and friends.  And, as part of Kylie’s village, I am so very proud of her stamina and perseverance that helped her rise above her severe hurt and pain to reach this growth period into her womanhood.  She’s on the right track, we love her dearly, and thank Our Lord for watching over her.  These are Kylie’s words: 

“To all my family and friends who love me dearly:

As I lie awake in the early hours of the morning, my heart and mind are brimming with these thoughts, and I thought to myself, “Why not share them?”

I would like to take a brief (post-writing, maybe not-so-brief) moment to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the endless showers of support, for the unconditional outpouring of love, for teaching me to thrive and pushing me to do so, amongst many other things.

It truly does take a village, and mine has been one filled with many blessings. I was placed into a life surrounded by those who have loved me, and those who have hurt me. Those who have motivated me, and those who have dragged me down. Those who have helped me grow, and those who blocked my sunlight. But, I am truly grateful for every single one.

See, the thing is, I needed those negative people in my life; the negative feelings, thoughts, words, and the like. I needed to feel the crushing weight of a jealous friend, of those who only wanted company in their misery, and of surrounding myself in groups which build nothing firmly but their negativity.

So, to wrap things up, I am proud. I am proud of the strong, independent, intelligent, nurturing, and kind woman that I have become and still have yet to flourish into.  Thank you, people of my village, for being the perfect soil out of which my flowers can bloom. I hope that I may one day be a part of something as beautiful.”

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